Friday, September 30, 2011

Four Weddings and a Reality Show



                Outdoors on a beautiful sunny day, Kody Brown, his sixteen children, and three wives celebrate his marriage to wife number four, Robin, in a traditional wedding reception with food, music, family and friends. Cameras were not allowed at what could only have been a strictly religious ceremony, but one can imagine an odd moment of pledging faithfulness to a new bride while surrounded by all three previous wives. This lifestyle is so foreign to most people that watching this family on a reality television program is not unlike watching a television drama; but, it isn’t drama, it isn’t scripted, and it is very much how the Brown family lives their lives. Polygamy is not something we see every day, and most people already have preconceived notions about that lifestyle; however, the Brown family is by all standards living the American dream. They had the massive home needed to house so many people. Now that they have left Utah they have multiple homes in a middle class suburb, and Kody can often be seen driving off in his little white sports car. Their family appears happy, healthy, and well taken care of. Viewers should watch “Sister Wives” and broaden their understanding and tolerance of a lifestyle completely different than their own.
                Watching Sister Wives is a lesson in relationships, and watching the dynamics between Kody and his four wives is very interesting. He seems to bend over backwards to make all of his wives feel special, and together they all take very good care of their children. This massive family might not be traditional, but it seems to work for them. If happiness, and harmony, are indicators of a functioning family unit, then this family has it in spades; they always seem to be laughing, and when things are serious, they are very open with one another. Viewers could learn from the openness of the Brown family and the open dialog they share in regards to their feelings on issues as big as Kody’s fourth marriage, to as small as how to handle seating arrangements when taking all the children out.
The show has never been more serious than the end of the last season, where the Brown family is the subject of a criminal investigation due to their polygamist lifestyle. Polygamy has a long history of some very foul practices, including child brides, so it is no wonder why the state might be concerned. This family, though, is not that kind of polygamist, and it is important that we not lump them all together. The family in “Sister Wives” does not live on a compound; they do not segregate themselves, or their children, from society. No one entered their marriage under age, and none of their children are being married off to other polygamists. They have made it clear that polygamy is optional for their children; they do not assume or expect their children to pick the same lifestyle they have. 
                Realizing the chances this family took going public helps viewers appreciate their struggle even more. This family desperately wants to live out in the open, without fear of persecution, or prosecution. They want to be accepted as the polygamist family they are, but so many people have a limited understanding of what that means, or just have negative opinions of people who live that lifestyle. Much like every other race, religion, or humanity in general, there is a range of good, bad and everything in between. This family might not resemble ours, or the majority, but that does not make it any less of a family, or any less relevant; at the end of the day they are just living life like everyone else.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

16 Years in the Blink of an Eye!


I am in the middle of a crazy busy week! The highlight of this busy week is my twin girls 16th birthday. They officially turned 16 yesterday and will be celebrating with their friends this weekend. It doesn’t seem possible that they are 16 already; it has gone by so fast. In a way it feels like yesterday that I brought them home and in a way it feels like it has been forever. It is such a strange mix.
They were born almost 8 weeks early and weighed in at 3.25lbs and 4.875lbs. Our first daughter was tagged as Twin A while our second born was tagged as Twin B; I will still sometimes lovingly refer to them as such. They are fraternal twins. Twin A is now 5’10” and her sister is much shorter, at 5’4”. They have come such a long way from the tiny, vulnerable, preemies they were, to the healthy, intelligent, young women they are today. I am extremely proud of them!
They are sophomores this year and high school has been so much fun for us all. Sports, clubs, and academics have kept the mom taxi working long hours but I wouldn’t have it any other way. When I feel overwhelmed about trying to fit in something they need with the 100 things I have to do that day I just think about how bored I am going to be in a few years when my house is empty. I don’t even like thinking about that. They both have so many plans for their future and the colleges they are looking at are SO far away. If I didn’t know better I would think they were trying to put a lot of miles between us! What they might not realize though, is that their father and I are willing to relocate…

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

It Needs to Get Better NOW!


Recently a story came to my attention that I thought warranted sharing with as many people possible. The story is that of Jamey Rodemeyer, a 14-year-old boy from New York. Jamey, after years of being bullied, committed suicide Sunday. This boy shouldn't have felt so hopeless that death was the only answer. Nothing brings out the raging atheist in me more than stories of hideous groups like Focus on the Family blocking legislation meant to stop the bullying of children based on their sexual orientation. The Focus on the Family group is a disgusting disgraceful sect of hate filled morality cops disguised as holier than thou christians. Those people and people like them are the ones teaching their children to bully whether they like to believe that are not! What these bullies hear at home from mean spirited parents is what they bring to school with them to inflict on the innocent. They need to keep their twisted beliefs out of our schools and their hateful rhetoric to themselves.
                It breaks my heart watching this boy’s you tube video and seeing the pain in his eyes. Things like the It Gets Better Project are fantastic BUT it is so hard for kids to understand that, when they are living in what feels like a never ending nightmare. Teens are not known for their ability to look forward at a future as an adult. They are caught up in the here and now more than any group I can think of. We can tell them it gets better and that is true but meanwhile we need to protect them. We cannot have the morality police dictating what we can and cannot tell children about their sexuality. WE MUST spread the message that their sexual orientation is nothing to be ashamed of any more than my one twin with brown eyes being ashamed that she didn’t get the same blue eyes as her sister! I don’t want to continue to watch children suffer and die because the pious believe homosexuality is a sin! I don’t care what they think about homosexuality any more than I care what my fish thinks about our taxation system.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Tea Party Tirade!


It is a dark and stormy Saturday morning so I  think I will blog about the Tea Party. They are the scariest thing I can think of next to clowns with sharp teeth. What in the world would cause people to turn so vehemently against their fellow countrymen and women? I have a lot of family who are supporters of the tea party and I am reminded of their somewhat less than kind spirit daily via facebook. For the purpose of this blog though I will concentrate less on my distant relatives and more on the tea party in the media and what most of you are already probably familiar with. I speak of course about the recent CNN/Tea Party debate and two specific occurrences at that debate that have stuck in my mind.
The first thing from the debate that really jumped out at me was the applause that erupted from the audience after moderator Brian Williams questioned Texas Governor  Rick Perry about his state's application of the death penalty. The Lone Star State has executed 234 prisoners since Perry became governor in 2000, more than any other governor in modern times. Asked if presiding over the deaths of more than 200 individuals had given him any pause, Perry was detached, praising the Texas justice system and saying that anyone who has received a sentence for capital punishment likely deserves it. "No, sir. I've never struggled with that at all," Perry said in response to Williams, to the strongest applause of the evening.
I am not anti-death.  If someone was in my house trying to hurt my family I do not believe I would have any problem killing them. That being said I am not a supporter of the death penalty. If just one innocent person is mistakenly convicted and put to death than I don’t believe it’s worth it. There is also something to be said about death being easier on criminals; why not let them “suffer for their sins?” All that aside, I thought it was a little hypocritical of governor Perry to say that he doesn’t struggle at all with the large amounts of people his state puts to death.  Because, in another argument with Congresswoman Michele Bachmann over his failed attempt to make it Texas policy that every young girl have the HPV vaccine he stated that, "at the end of the day I am always going to err on the side of life." Oh really? I guess that does not apply to inmates
Last but not least was Ron Paul’s take on public health. When asked by Wolf Blitzer to comment on a scenario in which a healthy 30 year old man decides to drop his medical coverage to save money Paul responded with, “what he should do is whatever he wants to do and assume responsibility for himself,” adding, “That’s what freedom is all about, taking your own risk. This whole idea that you have to compare and take care of everybody…”The audience erupted into cheers, cutting off the Congressman’s sentence.
After a pause, Blitzer followed up by asking “Congressman, are you saying that society should just let him die?" to which some of the audience members shouted “Yeah!”
I cannot be the only person who finds this completely and utterly disturbing. Where are we headed with this train of thought? Where are we headed as a nation with this kind of rhetoric and is it a future we want to see?  I hope for my distant (way distant) family’s sake that they are never without the funds to take care of themselves since that is the future they advocate for.
 *Not my distant family, but it could be! LOL

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

If Only Meth Were Legal, I Would Kiss My Teeth Goodbye! *Sarcasm



Can we please stop locking up people for using drugs? If people know they are bad for them and want to do them anyway, than who are we to try to stop them? It is completely idiotic to think that in this day and age we can legislate morality. British philosopher, and political theorist, John Stuart Mill said that, “the only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is not sufficient warrant.” If people want to do drugs that have seriously disgusting and dangerous side effects than the threat of prison really isn’t an effective deterrent for them anyway. At the other end of the spectrum, some illegal drugs are much less harmful than many prescription medications. I find it increasingly suspect that marijuana users are thought of as stoners while Oxycontin abusers are thought of as well respected talking heads of the conservative party. When will we get real about the failed War on Drugs and what it is costing our nation?
America’s war on drugs has done nothing to curb drug use; has only increased the violence surrounding the drug trade and cost the American tax payers a fortune to police, prosecute, convict, and house offenders. The problems that President Nixon, and every administration since, has had with the war on drugs can be compared with the well-known failures of prohibition. When alcohol was made illegal, underground breweries and distilleries flourished, the price of alcohol skyrocketed, and mobs of gangsters killed each other in an effort to control this huge illegal market. In general, the use of alcohol did not go down, and eventually, Congress repealed the Prohibition law. How much longer until we see the current drug laws go the same route? Hopefully we see it sooner rather than later seeing as how states are going broke and the cost of housing inmates just keeps going up.
Now, to what brought me to this train of thought today; California is going to be releasing female offenders whose crimes were nonviolent, non-serious and not sexual. Most of those are women convicted of drug offenses. According to the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation, about 45% of the state's female inmates may be eligible to leave prison. California isn’t releasing these women out of the kindness of their hearts, although there is some mention of the inmate’s children being raised by family, and foster care in a related CNN article. California is releasing these women because it will save about $6 million a year. I am not a math whiz but I cannot help but wonder how much they could save if they released the male equivalents of these non-violent offenders also. Males are incarcerated at the rate of 1,309 inmates per 100,000 men, while females are incarcerated at a rate of 113 per 100,000 women, so roughly 11.5 men for every woman. Ergo letting the men out also would equal even more money!
                It is past time that we reevaluate our drug policies. Many experts agree that until domestic demand in the United States for illicit drugs decreases, economics will govern and the money the United States spends on eradication and source control will simply be wasted. In a quote from Robert Stutman, a former DEA Agent he states that, "the average drug trafficking organization could afford to lose 90% of its profit and still be profitable. Now think of the analogy. GM builds a million Chevrolets a year. Doesn't sell 900,000 of them and still comes out profitable. That is a hell of a business, man. That is the dope business." According to the Office of National Drug Control Policy our federal government spent over 15 billion dollars last year on the drug war, with state and local governments spending even more. That is a rate of about $500 per second. Drug legalization though, would reduce government expenditure by about $41.3 billion annually, according to the Cato Group. The same organization states that legalization would also generate tax revenue of roughly $46.7 billion annually if drugs were taxed at rates comparable to those on alcohol and tobacco. In financial times like these with our state and local governments barely scrapping by and our federal government living on borrowed money, I don’t see how we can afford to keep up the “War on Drugs.”
               

Monday, September 12, 2011

Tracy vs Dillinger


                 
                My Doberman is better than my husband. I’ve been married for almost seventeen years to my wonderful husband Tracy and two years ago I shelled out the best money I have ever spent on a handsome Doberman puppy we named Dillinger. Dillinger ranks higher than Tracy on my list of favorites more often than not. Here is why.
                Dillinger is ALWAYS happy to see me when I get home and wants nothing more than for me to give him my undivided attention. I love that! He stays by my side from the moment I walk through the door, and that includes busting into the bathroom when I am in a hurry to go potty. I like that less but let’s face it, it’s still cute. It seems like his day hasn’t even begun until I get home. Meanwhile my husband is either on his laptop charting his fantasy football stuff or in the media room watching football. I might get a “hey babe” if I’m lucky. Usually I get “got any plans for dinner?” I hate that!
                Dillinger loves every movie I love. No matter the choice, whether it’s Pride & Prejudice or The Devil’s Rejects, he is willing to curl up next to me on the sofa and share my popcorn.  He does it without complaints and without commentary. I love that! My husband on the other hand rarely wants to watch what I want to see and on the occasion we do agree he has an incredibly annoying habit of commenting on everything he sees wrong with the movie during the movie. I hate that!
                Dillinger loves to go to the walking trails with me. He loves all the squirrels he gets to see, and all the people who tell him how good looking he is. He loves going in the fall with my daughters also, where they all play “who can catch the falling leaf first.” If they happen to catch it first, he will tackle them for it, and everyone enjoys that show. He acts like every moment with us on the trails is his favorite. I love that! My husband has never been on the walking trails. He says he walks enough at work. I hate that.
                Dillinger loves my mother! He can’t get enough attention from memaw. When we visit her she even lets him sleep in her room on a special bed she bought just for him. This is a woman who has never had an inside pet, so that says something about Dillinger’s charms. Dillinger spends a lot of time in the kitchen with my mother when we visit. He loves her cooking and her willingness to let him taste test. That being said, Tracy loves my mother also. He might not be as enthusiastic about it as Dillinger but I have no complaints here.
                Now my husband would like me to point out that Dillinger doesn’t pay any of the bills. So, score one for Tracy.  Now if I could figure out a way to get Dillinger paid for being the most amazing dog ever, Tracy wouldn’t have anything on him!:)

*This is all completely in jest. My husband has many great qualities, almost as many as Dillinger!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

A Daily Dose of Dissent


                Imagine concerned citizens looking at their options for the next presidential election. They see a potential candidate speaking at church Sunday night in their Texas town, and some are blown away by his patriotism and strong Christian values. He seems to stand for everything they believe in, and the fears he has for his sweet little grandchildren’s future, in a secular atheist society dominated by radical Islamists, are indeed terrifying. This man appears to be the real deal person of faith and family values people have been looking for, but not so fast. This man has been married three times, divorcing and marrying the other woman each time. His comment about an atheist society dominated by radical Islamist is completely incongruous, and he may have been less than genuine in his entire speech. Viewers might have some idea of this man’s hypocrisy and inconsistencies, as well as many others if they had watched The Daily Show with Jon Stewart; that is one of many reasons why everyone should watch The Daily Show. 
                It isn’t just one party in the political spectrum that The Daily Show goes after. The show did not hold punches when pointing out the absurdity of Obama’s secret meeting, where he received an award for transparency. A secret meeting for a transparency award, it would be funny if it wasn’t so disgusting. The Daily Show, unlike mainstream media, challenges administrations' spin. They follow along closer to the truth than the mainstream media at times and are unafraid of stepping on toes because their first responsibility is to be funny, period.
                While exposing hypocrisy may be the bread and butter of The Daily Show, that isn’t all it does; it can take complicated issues, or policies, and make them easily understandable for everyone. Viewers may not get the in-depth coverage of an issue, but they will get the gist and probably comprehend it better than if they had watched it on a 24 hour news channel. The Daily Show gives you the news the way it sees it. They are unconcerned with balance and there is an argument to be made that balance is overrated. Traditional journalists feel the need to give both sides of the story. The Daily Show does not. That can be extremely refreshing since not every side warrants being heard. 
                Part of The Daily Show’s appeal is that it holds public figures accountable for the things they say and do. President Obama may have said one thing in 2008 and something totally different last week, and viewers better believe that The Daily Show will not let that slide! If someone says, “I never said that,” there will be a clip of the same guy a month ago saying exactly that; it's a fantastic way to hold government officials accountable for their words and deeds. Sure the way it is done on The Daily Show usually incites laughter, but it is still done for the same reasons mainstream media does it with the added bonus of laughter to help take away some of the sting.
                Watching The Daily Show will result in better informed citizens, and much needed laughter. In a time when the 24 hour cable news stations and nightly news correspondents seem to be reporting less and less relevant news, The Daily Show seems to stand alone in challenging the powers that be. For that reason alone, this show is hugely important to our nation’s future. Watch The Daily Show to stay informed, watch it to laugh, watch it because there is nothing else near as good on at 10pm. Watch it because it’s not “fair and balanced”, if you have never watched it, watch it to see what all the fuss is about, but for goodness sake, watch it!