Elaine Riddick & Eugenics

                 

                 I was watching Rock Center with Brian Williams earlier this week when they reported on a story that was unimaginably sad and disturbing. The report focused on the story of Elaine Riddick who was 13 years old when she was raped and impregnated by her attacker. If that wasn’t enough horror for one person to endure Elaine was later sterilized, without her consent, immediately after giving birth to the baby boy that had resulted from the rape. That was in Winfall, N.C., in 1967. This summer Elaine along with several others told their stories at a public hearing held in North Carolina and it was the first time many had ever heard about the sordid past of North Carolina much less Americas dark history with eugenics.  North Carolina was only one of 31 states in the US to have a government run eugenics program. 

                Eugenics was started as a scientific curiosity during the Victorian age. Sir Francis Galton, a cousin of Charles Darwin, theorized that if talented people married only other talented people they would have measurably better offspring. Galton's ideas were imported into the United States at the turn of the last century. Eugenics was, quite literally, an effort to breed better human beings by encouraging the reproduction of people with "good" genes and discouraging those with "bad" genes. Eugenicists effectively lobbied for social legislation to keep racial and ethnic groups separate, to restrict immigration, and to sterilize people like Elaine Riddick, considered "genetically unfit." In a proud moment for our country the Germans adapted elements of the American eugenics movement as a model for the Nazi movement, and their radical adaptation of eugenics culminated in the Holocaust.

                Now The victims in North Carolina are telling their stories publicly and waiting for NC to come to some sort of agreement on compensation, as if any amount would make up for what they did. Many believe that NC is just buying time hoping to let nature run its course and victims die of old age in an effort to avoid paying victims. The government swears that is not the case but only time will tell I guess.

Elaine was only 13 when they decided she wasn’t fit to have more children. The state social workers declared a 13 year old rape victim as “mentally retarded” and “promiscuous”. She didn’t even know what they had done until years later when she married and visited a doctor about her inability to get pregnant. Her doctor told her that she’d been sterilized; that she had been “butchered”. In spite of her traumatic past she went on to live a fairly normal life. She went to college and raised the only son she would ever have. She is extremely proud of the man she raised and he is equally as proud of his mother.

In a time when we have a group calling themselves the 99 percenters  and the other side saying that it’s class warfare, I feel like I have to mention that some of America’s wealthiest citizens were eugenicists in its day. Dr. Clarence Gamble of the Procter and Gamble fortune and James Hanes of the hosiery company were both eugenicists.  Hanes even helped found the Human Betterment League which promoted the cause of eugenicists. Seeing as how they believed that poverty, along with promiscuity and alcoholism, were traits that were inherited, if that isn’t class warfare I don’t know what is!

               

Seventeen Years of Wedded Bliss (sprinkled in with 17 years of just plain old marriage)!

In just a few short days my husband and I will celebrate our seventeenth wedding anniversary. I am incredibly lucky that we have made it this far because we did everything wrong! We met when I was 15 (love at first sight), married when I was just 18, and then we immediately got pregnant with our girls (twins). We hardly had a moment to breathe and just enjoy one another’s company before we piled on the incredible stress of being responsible for two newborns. It was DIFFICULT! When I think back to those hard times though, I know without a doubt that even though I was just a stupid kid I made the best decision of my life when I accepted Tracy’s proposal. Our life is much easier now so while I still love and appreciate him immensely it is somewhat easier to look back for the deep reasons why.

In 1995 we had very little (nothing), and when I got pregnant we moved in with his parents to save money for a down payment on our first home. He took a second job to expedite the process and when I was put on bed rest he made sure I was as comfortable as possible, which included trips home between jobs to bring me a new book or movie. I of course was never comfortable (couldn’t breathe with two babies up in my rib cage) but it was sweet of him to try. When the girls came seven weeks early he stayed by our side and kept me sane when all I wanted to do was feel sorry for myself, because I didn’t have the perfect delivery I had hoped for. New mothers are the worse about making up reasons to feel inadequate (I even felt bad that I had two at once so I couldn’t give them each undivided attention)! Then when we finally got to take our girls home they had to be fed every four hours. My in-laws offered to help and to even keep one or both of the babies in their room but my husband wouldn’t let them (he must have caught my insanity). Even though he had to leave for his first job at 5 am, he got up with me throughout the night for feedings and whatever else our girls needed. He was and still is an incredible dad, and that is one of the top ten reasons why I love him so much (#3).

While I love my husband and he has done many things right he is still no saint. I have yet to meet anyone who has a perfect relationship unless they have only known each other for a month and then it just doesn’t count. I think the main thing that has saved us from walking (running) away from each other is our sense of humor. We laugh a lot and many times (most of the time) it is at each other. I think a sense of humor is hugely important in any long term relationship (it comes in handy when dealing with my mother also). Our marriage hasn’t been perfect but it has gotten better and that makes me incredibly optimistic about our future. Soon we won’t have children at home to take care of and all that “us” time we missed out on in the beginning we will get to catch up on. We already have a lot of plans and what’s keeping us smiling these days is trying to keep those plans from our teenagers. They are going to be so mad when we leave for Germany (Tschüs)!

Ain't No Rest For The Wicked

                After purchasing tickets a couple of weeks ago for an upcoming concert I had a thought that it was very close to the anniversary of our family’s first concert together. Upon further investigation I realized it was the same month in 2007 that we had all attended our first concert together. Our daughters had just turned 12 when on October 27, 2007 we took them to Memphis, TN (Mud Island Amphitheater) to attend the Young Wild Things concert tour. Fall Out Boy was headlining the concert with Gym Class Heroes, Plain White T's, and Cute Is What We Aim For. It was fantastic and it was the catalyst for our family’s addiction to concerts. My husband and I had attended various concerts in our past both separately and together but it had been a long time before we finally went again, as a family, in 2007. As a young family it wasn’t really an option to attend concerts as we had previously but when the girls were old enough it became a way we could spend time together and reward our daughters for having outstanding grades. Since then we have attended over fifteen concerts together and it has went from one or two a year to as many as we can get to! In many ways it reminds me of how people talk about tattoos, once you have your first you are always thinking about your next. That is exactly how we are about concerts; if we don’t have one booked to at least look forward to we feel slightly depressed. It is hard to explain.

                The reason behind sharing this was because I don’t think a lot of people consider taking their kids to concerts, but they should. To be clear though, I am not advocating bringing small children to concerts. Nothing upsets me more at a concert than a little kid with their hands over their ears. Those small children do not understand what is going on and should have been left at home with a sitter. We decided ours were old enough at 12 and we chose a venue that was large to avoid the crowded mosh pit scenario that is a part of the concerts we attend now that they are 16 and more capable of defending themselves. If you take into consideration the artist, the venue, and the timing, you can make concert going with your kids a successful event that will create memories to last a life time. I will never forget a couple of years ago when the girls were opening Christmas gifts and came across tickets for the Black Eyed Peas concert, they cried! Even after all the concerts we have been to it’s still exciting for them and it still makes them overwhelmingly happy, what else can evoke that kind of response from teens?

                What better way to reward your kids for all their hard work and good behavior than to give them the experience of live music and the memories of family time spent doing something everyone loves? Since most people reading this have kids younger than mine I am hoping this gives you some inspiration on unique ways you can spend quality time with your kids and reward them for the things we should never take for granted.

 On December 4^th we will be going to Tulsa to see The Ugly Christmas Sweater Concert tour featuring Rise Against with Cage The Elephant and AWOLNATION. It will be our third time seeing Cage The Elephant, which officially makes us groupies I am pretty sure, but we are okay with that!  

 

Cage The Elephant - Shake Me Down

My Poor Time Management or Wrong Priorities...IDK!

So I was swept up in World Series fever and managed my time poorly. Wow what a game though! Go Cardinals! Alas I have run out of time for my 2^nd blog though, and now hubby has Real Time with Bill Maher on and I am completely distracted. I promise to do better next week hopefully but if I wait until Friday to write I am afraid it might be even worse because hubby and I are leaving town for our 17^th wedding anniversary. It has been a very long and extremely busy week but what a way to end it!!!:)

Out Of The Dark Ages

Why would anyone anywhere think a monarchy is a good thing in this day and age? As Americans it goes against EVERYTHING we stand for and its many flaws are the reason we are even a nation today. Yet despite our history with monarchs, some of our fellow citizens can’t get enough of the British royal family. I don’t understand the fascination. I didn’t tune in to watch the royal wedding and the only thoughts I have when I hear about the new couple are, “I can’t believe a monarchy even exist in this day and age!” I know the UK isn’t the only guilty nation I am just using them as an example because they are the monarchy we are all most familiar/obsessed with. Today’s headline on CNN stated that Women get equal right to British throne; I have so many thoughts on that and they all sound a bit snarky so I apologize in advance.

First, congrats to the UK for giving women equal rights to the throne. That is such a big step out of the middle ages. Too bad the entire idea of divine rights of kings is from the middle ages. Even if the current power of the British royal family isn’t what it used to be it is still an archaic notion proved many times over to be deeply flawed. That being said I can’t get too snarky with the Brits seeing as how they have had a women in their top elected office of Prime Minister while we have yet to have a woman president. Even Germany’s head of government is a woman, but I digress.

Secondly, I can’t stomach the romanticizing of the monarchy. The argument made about it representing family, blood, and honor is only made by people who are monarchs or have no real grasp on history and I don’t mind pointing out that such nostalgic affection is ridiculous. Monarchs rule not because they represent quaint traditions, but because their ancestors killed anyone who opposed them. They believe or believed that it was their god given right to rule over the masses. Of course according to MANY of our political leaders and wannabe political leaders, they were specially selected by god also; maybe we haven’t come as far as I would like to think.

Lastly, the article about the exciting new leap forward for the UK also stated that plans to scrap the Act of Settlement were in the works. That gem of a law, passed in 1701, banned the monarch from marrying a Catholic. The law was enacted to ensure that Protestants, and not Catholics, held the throne and remained head of the Church of England. That would be laughable if it didn’t hit close to home. We may not have laws against what kind of beliefs our leaders must subscribe to but it most certainly is an unwritten rule!

So instead of praising the UK for their baby step into the 21^st century, maybe the media should take this opportunity to question the need for the existence of any monarchy at all. I would have loved to have seen that just once in any of the recent articles pertaining to the story, but I never came across one that even questioned it.